What to Do If You're Nervous About Giving a Wedding Speech

If you're nervous about giving a wedding speech, somebody will eventually tell you to relax. Very useful. The better approach is to assume you might still be nervous on the day and prepare for that version of events.

You do not need to become a confident public speaker before the wedding. You need to know the speech well enough that nerves don't get to make all the decisions.

A few days before: say it out loud

Reading the speech in your head does not really count as practice. Stand up and say it. Do that once a day for a few days.

You will immediately find sentences that looked perfectly normal on the page but are awkward to say. Fix those sentences. If you keep stumbling over the same line, the problem may not be you. It may just be a bad sentence. Record yourself once too.

You do not need to spend an evening studying the tape. Listen back one time. You will probably notice one place where you speed up, one line that sounds more formal than you thought, and maybe a joke that needs another second before you keep going. That is useful information.

Memorize two things

Your first line. Your last line. That's it.

I would not try to memorize the entire speech unless you happen to be very good at that already. Trying to recall four minutes word for word gives you another thing to worry about.

Bring notes. Nobody cares. Knowing the first line means you can walk up, look at the couple, and start without hunting around the page.

Knowing the last line means that even if you get emotional or lose your place, you know where you are going. Everything in the middle can stay on the paper.

On the day, do the boring things

Eat. Drink water. Do not use alcohol as the plan for getting through the speech. If you are drinking, keep it light before you speak.

A few minutes beforehand, slow your breathing down. A slightly longer exhale than inhale can help settle the physical part of the nerves. Nothing dramatic needs to happen. You're just trying to get your body a little quieter before you stand up.

When you get to the microphone

Plant your feet somewhere comfortable. Hold your notes however you want. Take a second before you start.

Then look at the couple. That last part helps more than people expect. You are not really talking to 150 people. You are saying something to two people while everyone else listens. And slow down.

Almost everyone speeds up when they're nervous. If the pace feels a little too slow to you, it probably sounds normal to everyone else. When people laugh, stop talking. When something emotional lands, stop talking.

You do not need to fill every second of silence.

If something goes wrong

You lose your place. Your voice shakes. You say a word twice.

You tear up. None of these things ruin a wedding speech. Look down. Find your line. Take a breath. Keep going.

The room does not have your script. They do not know what you were supposed to say. And this is worth remembering: the audience wants you to do well. This is not a conference presentation. Nobody bought a ticket to evaluate your speaking skills.

They know why you're nervous.

The speech itself matters

Practice helps a lot. But it is much harder to feel settled if you don't trust what you're about to say. A speech full of lines you would never normally use is hard to deliver because some part of you is still editing it while you're standing there.

That is why HeartSpoken includes the practice part, not just the writing part. Once you have a speech shaped from your own memories, you can record it, read along while you practice, use memorize mode, and work through delivery tips before the wedding.

Download HeartSpoken on the App Store

You don't need to walk to the microphone feeling fearless. Know your first line. Know your last line.

Know what you mean. Then say it.